NFL 2012 Season Preview: Win Totals + Predictions Galore – AFC East

Welcome to part 3 of our NFL season preview! Today the AFC East is up, and we’ll be looking at each team’s outlook for the 2012 season.

AFC East

New England Patriots

  • The best teams in the NFL are constantly changing to stay ahead of the pack. This is why the Pats are always so stinkin’ good.
  • Brandon Lloyd is the first deep threat Brady’s had since Randy Moss, and we all remember how that went. (They lost in the Super Bowl to the Giants.)
  • Chandler Jones and Dont’a Hightower look like great draft picks and their defense looks much better one week into this season.
  • Bill Belichick is a great coach, he always has something up his sleeve…or, cut off sweatshirt holes.
  • WIN/LOSS TOTAL: 13-3 (First Round Bye)
  • Bonus Prediction: The Pats trade for 3 more athletic tight ends and become innovators of what becomes known as the “Lebroncat Package.”

New York Jets

  • Not sure what I’m supposed to overreact to with this team. The missing offense in the preseason, or the dominant offseason in the season opener.
  • Watching this team is like watching Charles Barkley’s golf swing. It’s a disaster, but you just can’t look away.
  • Tim Tebow is excited.
  • Bart Scott can’t wait.
  • I love this team.
  • WIN/LOSS TOTAL: 8-8
  • Bonus Prediction: They will undoubtedly win more games than this because, ya know, Tim Tebow, but Rex Ryan will undoubtedly screw it up by guaranteeing to win about 8 games. So yeah, 8-8 is about right.

Buffalo Bills

  • They signed Mario Williams, supposedly the best defensive free agent out there, and proceeded to give up 48 points to the New York Jets.
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick was bad the second half of last year because he hurt his ribs. Judging from week one, his ribs are hurt worse now.
  • Why does Buffalo have a team? I’m pretty sure it’s because they have at least one sweet blizzard game a year. Those are the best.
  • WIN/LOSS TOTAL: 7-9
  • Bonus Prediction: Two sweet, blizzard games. I can only hope.

Miami Dolphins

  • Ryan Tannehill wasn’t very good in college, so he’s gotta be good in the NFL right?
  • New head coach, Joe Philbin, as a former Packer, doesn’t deserve this punishment.
  • This team will be the worst.
  • I hope they play in two sweet, blizzard games this year.
  • WIN/LOSS TOTAL: 3-13
  • Bonus Prediction: Matt Moore is their quarterback again by the end of the year and they ruin a few playoff hopefuls’ seasons.
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